What Is a US American? Part Three
Hygiene
Americans are generally very concerned with personal hygiene, and it is not unusual for them to take a bath every day, change their clothes every day, and wash their hair several times a week. Americans tend to find natural body odors unpleasant. In addition to frequent bathing, they use perfume, cologne, and deodorants on a regular basis. Occasionally a person may be shunned by Americans and not realize that it is because they find body odor offensive. Frequent bathing and the use of chemical deodorants, perfumes, and soaps may not be necessary for one's health, but they may have an effect on a person's social relationships in the U.S.
Friendliness and Openness
Different people have different ideas of who they would call a friend. In the U.S., "a friend" could mean anyone from a mere acquaintance to a life-long intimate, and the friend's company may depend on a particular activity. Americans have friendships that revolve around work, political activity, volunteer activities, special interests, etc., and different groups of friends may never meet one another. An American may have many friendships on a casual, occasional basis, but only a few deep, meaningful friendships that would last throughout life. People from other cultures sometimes see the large number of casual relationships that Americans have as their reluctance to become deeply involved with others. In some circumstances when a person in another culture would turn to a friend for help or support, an American may turn to a professional such as a counselor, because they feel they would be burdening friends with their problems.
When people visit the United States, they usually notice immediately the friendliness and openness of Americans and the extreme ease of social relationships. This casual friendliness should not be mistaken for deep or intimate friendships which are developed over a long period of time. Americans live in a mobile society and tend to move frequently; they therefore tend to be able to form friendships and give up friendships much more easily and less stressfully than people in many other cultures. Casual social life is especially evident in colleges and universities, because everyone is there for a relatively short period of time.
These easy or casual relations are sometimes troubling to international students. They have left their own friends and family at home and are learning to live in a new place. They naturally are looking for new friends, and they sometimes find it very difficult to develop close relationships with Americans, because they cannot seem to get beyond a very superficial acquaintance with them. Occasionally it may be easier to relate to other international students who may have the same problems in developing friendships with Americans. In American culture casual, often temporary friendships are easily developed, but it is much more difficult to develop close, deep relationships. By contrast, in many other cultures, there are fewer casual friendships and people are much less open and friendly toward strangers. But once people have become friends, it is relatively easier to develop closer relationships. Some people coming to the U.S. get frustrated and give up making American friends, choosing only to have friends among other international students here. Others have said that they have been able to become good friends with Americans but that it took repeated efforts and perseverance.
As you meet more Americans and start to become aware of the individual characteristics of different people, you will find that, just as for your own culture and country, there are exceptions to any generalization about the culture and the people here. Nonetheless, the characteristics described here are a starting place for you to begin to understand Americans and American culture.