What Is a US American? Part Four
- What is a Support Network
- Leaving Behind One Network of Support
- Need for a New Network of Support
- How to Develop a New Support Network
As you read these questions, think about your own country and the life that you led there before you came to the United States. How would you respond to the following situations and questions?
1. When you learned that you were coming to Ithaca and would soon go abroad, with whom did you share the news? Father, mother, brothers, sisters, other family members, neighbors, friends, teachers? What were their reactions?
2. If you had been in a traffic accident in your country and were in the hospital, who would visit you? Who would visit you everyday? Who besides your family would offer to help you after you returned home?
3. If you had an important decision to make about your career, with whom would you discuss that decision? With certain family members? With leaders in your community? With two or three good friends? With a professional career counselor? Whose advice would you listen to?
4. If you were feeling sad or depressed, would you share these feelings with other people? If so, with whom? Are there only certain family members with whom you would want to discuss personal matters? Would you discuss them with some friends? How would they respond to you?
What is a Support Network
In all these situations, you may well turn to those people near you whom you know, trust, like, and who provide you with companionship. These are people who are concerned about you. This group of people-family members, friends, teachers, other people you may know-are the people to whom you turn in times of need and to whom you can express your true emotions. These people, who form your support network, may also turn to you for support, help and companionship. Networks form slowly; they are an important part of our lives. We need these people around us, just as they need us around them.
Leaving Behind One Network of Support
When you leave your culture and enter a new one, as you have done in coming to the U.S., you leave your support network behind. It exists-the people are still there-but because of distance it is more difficult to turn to them for companionship, affection, help, and support when you need them. You can write, telephone, and perhaps even visit them, but they are not constantly near you and are not part of your daily life in this country.
Need for a New Network of Support
When students first come to this country to study, they frequently feel somewhat lost and lonely because they have left their support network at home but do not yet have one here. At home, you may have had daily contact with people in your support network, such as family and friends. Sometimes you may want to ask someone's opinion about a matter; you may need some support when you are in a difficult situation, you may want to tell someone about something that is bothering you, or you may just want to chat. You need people here to whom you can turn for support and companionship, people with whom you can discuss your life, your problems, and your feelings. If you do not develop such ties in this country, you may find yourself very isolated and homesick.
How to Develop a New Support Network
How one develops a new support network is very much an individual matter. You may feel a natural rapport with other students from your country, and they will certainly be able to understand you and help you in some ways that others cannot. You will also have the opportunity to meet students from the United States and from around the world, and you may develop some good friendships in that way. If you join a student organization, or attend activities on campus, you may meet people who will become friends of yours and will become part of your support network. In the U.S. many people are willing to go outside their own families and close friends when they develop a support network. For example, there might be a professor they respect who is willing to discuss various matters with them. Americans will sometimes consult a counselor to discuss personal problems, professional issues, or important decisions they must make. Other people may turn to their religious leader or to a chaplain on the university campus. Many Americans are willing to consult professionals such as these because they are trusted as "experts" in certain matters or objective observers.
Cornell University, like most universities in the U.S., has counselors available to talk confidentially with students about their concerns. International student advisers sometimes serve the same function; they are willing to talk with international students about anything of concern. Many international students who have chosen to consult these counselors have found the discussions to be helpful. At home, you had a circle of people around you-people with whom you shared your life and people whose life you shared. Now that you are in this country, you need to develop a new circle of people with whom you can share this sort of relationship. By developing close relationships like these, you will be able to share your experiences and feelings, and receive help and support from them. You, in turn, can give them help and support when they need it.